Can You Give Me Sanctuary?
Michelle Sherman • December 4, 2020
The Rock Poet’s Guide to the Promised Hug
The poets of Rock & Roll have provided the answers to many of my life’s biggest questions. Often, it took years before I actually heard the message embedded in the song.
Jim Morrison belted out his plight for acceptance during my early adolescence in the Soft Parade album circa1969. He asked:
♫ "Can you give me sanctuary?
I must find a place to hide.
A place for me to hide.
Can you find me soft asylum?
I can't make it anymore.
The Man is at the door" ♫
(Jim Morrison / John Paul Densmore / Raymond Manzarek / Robert A Krieger)
Can You Give Me Sanctuary? Or must I find it for myself?
Creating Sanctuary and feeling welcomed has been on the top 10 of my to do list since I can remember. Was it feeling as if I had been left with the wrong group of adults? Or was it that I had heard stories of my prenatal life, when almost miscarried.
When I did finally arrive, the appearance of my jaundiced skin and closed eyes created a reluctance within my mother to assume, I was her baby. Our family doctor, Uncle Nat, had to reassure her that I was indeed her biological material. The unspoken sanctuary of womb space and a warm, hearty welcome to the world were initially denied to me, or at least postponed.
Come to find out, years later, those two experiences had a profound impact on my approach to life and seemingly relentless drive.
How? This
quest to feel welcomed, cherished and safe
enough to be present and joyful has fueled many of my finest adventures and also my most unflattering moments. It fueled the nobility of creating trusting bridges across the globe punctuated by choices made during those insecure moments.
In the 1990s, I spent an inordinate amount of time at Nahcotta, Human Sanctuary, co-creating 28 acres of intentional community with Jim, Mary and Elisabeth. The 500-year-old Blue Sitka Spruce Grandmother tree that dwelled upon my humble 2.48 acres contribution felt sacred indeed. Sitting at her rooted feet was both a comfort and an inspiration. It was there that the VAST Institute restoration of humankind’s treasury of light was envisioned. Nahcotta was a blessing because it allowed us to play in nature, freely and safely, with elemental beauty. My daughter, Uncle Jim, family, friends and I danced in the fields, climbed trees, picked berries and conducted the occasional sacred ceremony in the safety of our 28-acre neighborhood. It was a shift in my consciousness about nature and connection. The fields of Nahcotta provided a sense of sanctuary which was new to me.
Brooklyn, NY parks in 1960s were not deemed safe.
A close relative, I loved, had been murdered by an extremely sick person.
Elevators, parks and the world as I knew it was no longer safe, according to the unspoken pleas of my Mom and Grandma. The psychic message was loud and clear, “Please stay home and do not take risks in life so you can better assure your safety.” Let us pretend that out of fear we will build you a sanctuary. I wasn’t buying it. I have a bit of wildness baked into me, so I did not comply. I sought something else.
Once I graduated from college, I exited 3000 miles stage-left, to the West Coast.
As a free spirit, I knew I had to physically leave to detach from my heavy and complicated family system, if I were to ever have a chance at experiencing refuge. Although it was unclear at the time, I eventually discovered that sanctuary was both, what I was seeking, and the reward for looking beyond my inhospitable beginnings. More details will follow in the memoirs.
For the sake of clarity , let me cut to the chase and say that 40 years later, I have succeeded in knowing the experiences of sanctuary, both the inner and outer kind, only to discover it’s reward and biggest test.
When I do feel safe, it is because I feel I am accepted and can then master being a noble version of my essential self. The dedication to being Authentic, in and of itself is a brave choice, which then leads us to experience sanctuary within our own wholeness and compassion for our human frailties.
Is that what
Bob Dylan spoke of when he sang:
♫ "Not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved.
Everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
Try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
Come in, she said, I'll give ya shelter from the storm” ♫
©1975 Bob Dylan
The hope of feeling safe and trusting another is a pivotal human experience. Those who have the external mirror of a true friend, family member or colleague can then be brave to further that acceptance within themselves. We all need help getting home.
Steve Winwood of Blind Faith said this about first finding the road:
♫ "And I’m near the end and I just ain’t got the time.
And I’m wasted, and I can’t find my way home" ♫
Sounds a bit bleak to me, but we have all been there.
Yet, there are a variety of
paths
to embodying safety, some of
which are gentler
and preferable.
Let me share a couple.
When reaching for inner sanctuary, it’s important to optimize enjoying your own company. This is the competency of self-wisdom. It proves highly effective to clarify, without shame, who you are and how to share your best qualities in a manner that enlivens your confidence. If we accept the truth of our being, others follow as we learn to trust ourselves in a completely new way. Those who are fortunate to experience this type of self-appreciation are poised to welcome the joy of life with open arms as they tap into their inner sanctuary.
Another effective step is to not take yourself too seriously as a growing, complex and sensitive being. Be extremely kind as you grow past your misguided notions and limited understanding of your inherent, complex beauty.
Experience life through the lens of your nourished senses, listen to Mozart or birds singing to gently attune your brain to joy. Or, enjoy pure sounds of voices singing, chanting or reverberating “OM.”
When reaching for outer sanctuary, surround yourself with those who are thrilled for your success, happiness and appreciate your wholeness. Learn to properly appreciate your unique, eccentric expression as a member of the larger human family. Once I finally began to experience the precious moments of being completely OK with myself, the world and the good in it, I felt welcomed anew.
If you intentionally look for the sparkle, beauty and magic in your world, you will not only find it, but it will begin to expand in wonderful and nourishing ways. Enjoy the music of life and the illuminated moments. Can you give me sanctuary? Jerry Garcia and the Grateful Dead said it well back in 1972; the power to create sanctuary also lies within. I possess that power because:
♫ “Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me.
Other times, I can barely see.
Lately, it occurs to me,
What a long, strange trip it's been” ♫
(Jerome J. Garcia / Philip Lesh / Robert Hall Weir / Robert C. Christie Hunter)
***
If you are ready to experience greater clarity, confidence and imagination and claim your version of sanctuary, Contact Michelle.
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