How to bounce back from life’s tragic moments- excerpt from Kindling the Flame: the art and science of cognitive replenishment

 “ A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

 – Winston Churchill

At VAST we love to embolden and be around optimists of all kinds.
Especially those grounded types who encourage, inspire and point the way for many others with their wisdom and calm. The excerpt below from Kindling the Flame explains how to enjoy life even when things go astray. This is just one of the benefits of becoming the practical optimist who commands a vibrant and positive imagination .

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“ Optimists also possess what is referred to as resilience , the ability to bounce back from life’s tragic circumstances. It was discovered that soldiers who possessed a practical type of optimism recovered from extreme wartime trauma without depression or post-traumatic stress disorder (Charney, 2002). Optimism was also the primary factor that determined whether a veteran was able to recover from the trauma they experienced as a prisoner of war. Altruism, humor and a meaningful life were deemed as secondary factors aiding in their emotional recovery (Charney, 2002).

According to Dr. Charney, a practical optimist can assess their difficult situation in a realistic manner, while seeking a solution that has not yet presented itself.During times of great difficulty, a practical optimist may not know how they will solve the problems at hand, but they are confident a way will appear as they actively pursue a remedy. This type of confidence takes a bit of faith and a lot of positive imagination.

Positive imagination is a skill that can be cultivated. Appreciating the goodness and beauty that exists in your world is a simple first step. Once you acknowledge the good in front of you, it is easier to expand this practice as outlined below.

Here are some suggestions for how to develop a more positive imagination :

 §  Situational - Imagine having a good time with the people you are going to meet today before you see them. As you prepare for an virtual meeting imagine you are going to have a great day, or that you will enjoy the time you’re going to spend with a loved one, or that you will find a win/win solution at a business meeting. Try to imagine great outcomes before the fact and then see the effects this has on the quality of your interactions.

 §  Environmental – surround yourself with people who are kind, genuine, caring,honest and appreciate your finer qualities. People who believe in goodness and see it in the world. They celebrate life whenever possible as seek out the simple joys. If not, you cannot convince them.

 §  Self-Talk – Learn to hear, catch and correct the hurtful messages each of us inflicts upon ourselves in the guise of motivation. These messages aren’t motivating, they are demeaning and often insidious. Affirming the good and learning from our mistakes is the best we can do as humans. Say balanced and nice things about yourself and to yourself often. It is worth it. If you’re not sure how to, sit with a safe friend and ask for three things they really like about you. Hearing it out loud really helps. Or, begin by telling yourself,“I am a lovable imperfect being”.

** Reprinted with permission from Kindling the Flame: the art and science of cognitive replenishment , 2017, pg.73-74)**

Optimism enriches your brain chemistry and elevates your problem-solving abilities.
Read more on how to boost your natural sense of optimism in a way that is yours alone.
We each can use a bit of encouragement these days.